It’s Not Fair!
Our “Cookie” virtue this month at preschool is FAIR. “It’s not fair!” is a holler most parents hear quite often. Somehow, it seems kids have a built in fairness sensor. I can remember our children used fairness to argue for their rights to countless things; who gets the biggest cookie, who gets to shower first, whose turn to empty the dishwasher, who gets to be in charge of the TV remote, who gets to sit in the front seat of the car, who gets to go to the movie alone with their friends and no grown-up…and on and on and on it went. Everything had to be fair. Every time I thought I had the “fairness” thing worked amicably someone would end up crying or shouting, “M O M, that’s just not fair!” Then I began to realize that perhaps I wasn’t helping the situation much by trying so hard to keep things perfectly fair-it’s just not possible! And there is yet another lesson to learn. The world just isn’t fair. And sometimes good things happen to you and sometimes they happen to others.
How does one determine what is fair? Fairness is often presumed to go hand-in-hand with keeping things equal. Here’s a quote I like that helps answer the question. “FAIRNESS DOES NOT MEAN EVERYONE GETS THE SAME. FAIRNESS MEANS EVERYONE GETS WHAT THEY NEED.” Rick Riordan There you have it. Fairness is about making sure all are treated with the kindness and respect they deserve in their own specific circumstances.
Here are some ways we can help children understand fairness…
- Play games that involve fair Model good choices and sportsmanship.
- Chat about “house” rules and “school” rules. Are they the same for everyone? Should they be?
- Read children’s books and detect fair and unfair behavior and find some solutions together.
- Be consistent in making decisions in a fair
- “Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you.” Jackson Brown. I can never seem to say this enough. Our actions are the only way we truly teach honorable character traits to our children. Grown-ups have to practice what they preach!
And always remember… you have a Friend and Helper who is always thinking about you! “God is always fair. He will remember how you helped the people in the past and how you are still helping them. You belong to God, and He won’t forget the love you have shown His people.” Hebrews 6:10 (CEV)
During this “thanks giving” season, the entire Littlest Angels Preschool Staff and I would like to wish you all a blessed Thanksgiving. We consider your children to be very special blessings in our lives …thanks for sharing them with us.
Kathy Stinson, Director